Singing with the Devil
by AquilaTempestas
Summary: Lucifer celebrates his monthly anniversary with his demon friends. Crack fic.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Supernatural belong to Eric Kripke.

The song lyrics to 'It's the End of the World' belong to .R.E.M.

**Title**

Singing with the Devil

**Summary**

Lucifer celebrates his monthly anniversary with his demon friends. Crack fic.

**.**

Lucifer sat down in his comfortable leather recliner and waited for his friends to arrive. Yes... Lucifer had friends, he wasn't a complete loner. He had called them over to help him celebrate his monthly anniversary. Thankfully, they had agreed to keep him entertained. He wished Sam Winchester could make it but his future vessel angrily hung up on and him and threatened to kill him. Lucifer sighed. Sam did not know how to kill him. He had tried using the Colt but Lucifer was immune to it. Poor Sam, he looked so heart-broken.

He had also tried calling Castiel to come visit him but Castiel had declined immediately. It was a shame really, Castiel would greatly benefit him. He sighed. Life was tough, especially for him. Ring. Ring. His mobile phone rang and a techno ringtone started. Lucifer picked up the phone and answered the call. "Lucifer speaking, who is this?"

"Meg. We're coming over," she replied happily, eager to see her Master again. "I'm bringing cakes Master," she added, hoping to impress. She had heard the way to a man's heart is through his stomach.

"Ok. I will see you soon," he said and hung up. Meg was his favourite – the others had all gotten themselves killed and he had to resurrect them. Uriel, his angel spy got himself killed by fallen angel Anna. Alistair and Lilith died by the demonic powers of Sam Winchester. Azazel had been killed by the Colt. And Ruby was killed by her knife by Dean. He shook his head. Incompetent demons.

The doorbell soon rang and Lucifer found himself staring at his most loyal demons. "Hello," he welcomed. "Come inside, make yourself at home." Meg and the other demons (and one angel), entered his small home happily. They each sat down in their named seats. Lucifer had given the chairs names to prevent his demon friends from fighting over who got to sit close to him.

"Here are the cakes Master!" exclaimed Meg, laying down a big white box on the table.

Alistair ran to stand beside Meg, an excited smile on his face. "I baked cookies Master!"

Lucifer shuddered. Alistair's cooking was beyond terrible.

"I brought prawns Master!" said Azazel, his yellow eyes shining brightly.

"Prawns?" Lucifer repeated.

Azazel nodded. "Everyone else baked cakes so I brought prawns instead."

Lucifer decided not to comment. He turned to face Uriel. "What did you bring?"

"Angel cookies brother," he said, handing a cookie to Lucifer. "They are in the shapes of our brothers and sisters in Heaven. This one looks like Michael," he added, pointing.

Lucifer frowned. "Angel cookies?" Why didn't they have Winchester cookies? "What about Winchester cookies?"

"They ran out of stock brother."

"Ok." Lucifer took the box from Uriel's hands and placed them on the table next to Meg's cake. He turned to face Lilith. "And you? What did you bring?"

Lilith grinned. "Fruit and vegetables!"

"Fruit and vegetables?" He hoped Lilith didn't bring spinach. He hated spinach. If she did, he'd have to send her back to Hell.

She nodded. "You aren't looking very healthy Master," she said, noticing Lucifer's vessel was slowly burning out. "I thought bringing fruit and vegetables would help."

"Whatever... I hope you didn't bring spinach?"

She shook her head. "No Master."

Ruby stepped forward. "Hot dogs from me Master." She placed the Tupperware container on the table. "And I brought a pet cat along for you named Sam. It should keep you occupied until you get the real Sam," she said, calling in 'Sam'. A gray Tabby entered the room and jumped on Lucifer. Lucifer was startled. If only the real Sam would willingly throw himself at him.

Uriel smirked to himself. He liked hot dogs. Perhaps demons weren't so bad after all... Lucifer noticed Uriel smirking. He didn't like it. "What are you smirking about?" he questioned curiously.

"Hot dogs brother," he said, casting his eyes down at the hot dogs. "I like them."

Lucifer hurriedly grabbed the Tupperware container and pulled them away from Uriel. "They're not yours." He glared. Uriel seemed to shrink a few inches.

"Master, what is the plan?" Meg asked, standing before Lucifer.

"Well, I purchased _Karaoke Revolution _for the Nintendo Wii the other day," said Lucifer. "I hope to put it to good use."

Alistair's eyes glittered. He loved _Karaoke Revolution_! "What song?"

"It's the End of the World as we Know it by R.E.M," replied Lucifer, placing the disc inside the console. "Grab a microphone everyone!" he ordered.

The game loaded. The demons and the two angels stood up from their seats and faced the screen. Alistair's eyes glittered. He loved _Karaoke Revolution_! "What song?"

"It's the End of the World as we Know it by R.E.M," replied Lucifer, placing the disc inside the console. "Grab a microphone everyone!" he ordered.

The game loaded and they found themselves staring at the screen. Lucifer selected a song and waited for it start:

_That's great, it starts with an earthquake, birds and snakes,__  
__an aeroplane - Lenny Bruce is not afraid.__  
__Eye of a hurricane, listen to yourself churn,__  
__world serves its own needs, dummy serve your own needs.__  
__Feed it off an aux speak,, grunt, no, strength,__  
__The ladder starts to clatter with fear fight down height.__  
__Wire in a fire, representing seven games, a government for hire and a combat site.__  
__Left of west and coming in a hurry with the furies breathing down your neck.__  
__Team by team reporters baffled, trumped, tethered cropped.__  
__Look at that low playing!__  
__Fine, then.__  
__Uh oh, overflow, population, common food, but it'll do.__  
__Save yourself, serve yourself. World serves its own needs, listen to your heart bleed dummy with the rapture and the revered and the right - right.__  
__You vitriolic, patriotic, slam, fight, bright light, feeling pretty psyched.___

_It's the end of the world as we know it.__  
__It's the end of the world as we know it.__  
__It's the end of the world as we know it and I feel fine.___

_Six o'clock - TV hour. Don't get caught in foreign towers.__  
__Slash and burn, return, listen to yourself churn.__  
__Locking in, uniforming, book burning, blood letting.__  
__Every motive escalate. Automotive incinerate.__  
__Light a candle, light a votive. Step down, step down.__  
__Watch your heel crush, crushed. Uh-oh, this means no fear cavalier.__  
__Renegade steer clear! A tournament, a tournament, a tournament of lies.__  
__Offer me solutions, offer me alternatives and I decline.___

_It's the end of the world as we know it.__  
__It's the end of the world as we know it. (It's time I had some time alone)__  
__It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone) and I feel fine.__  
__(I feel fine)___

_It's the end of the world as we know it. (It's time I had some time alone)__  
__It's the end of the world as we know it. (It's time I had some time alone)__  
__It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone) and I feel fine.___

_The other night I dreamt of knives, continental drift divide. Mountains sit in a line__  
__Leonard Bernstein. Leonid Brezhnev. Lenny Bruce and Lester Bangs.__  
__Birthday party, cheesecake, jelly bean, boom!__  
__You symbiotic, patriotic, slam book neck, right? Right.___

_It's the end of the world as we know it. (It's time I had some time alone)__  
__It's the end of the world as we know it. (It's time I had some time alone)__  
__It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone) and I feel fine.___

_It's the end of the world as we know it.__  
__It's the end of the world as we know it.__  
__It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone) and I feel fine.___

_It's the end of the world as we know it. (It's time I had some time alone)__  
__It's the end of the world as we know it. (It's time I had some time alone)__  
__It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone) and I feel fine.___

_It's the end of the world as we know it. (It's time I had some time alone)__  
__It's the end of the world as we know it. (It's time I had some time alone)__  
__It's the end of the world as we know it (It's time I had some time alone) and I feel fine..._

The song had come to an end. Uriel and Alistair had scored the lowest, followed by Lilith then Meg. Surprisingly, Ruby and Azazel tied for second place which left Lucifer as number one. When he wasn't scheming and summoning horsemen, he was singing. "Well done Master!" said Alistair, running over to give his Master a hug.

Lucifer used his powers and stopped him in his movement. He did not like being hugged. He was about so say more when the door suddenly fell down. The demons gasped. "What the..." muttered Lucifer, grabbing a hot dog. He walked over to the door and stuck his head outside. Standing outside, was a very surprised looking pair of Winchesters. A confused angel stood in between. Needless to say, they did not expect the Devil to be eating a hot dog.

He smirked to himself. "Hello! Fancy you dropping by!" he said, looking at Sam. "Did you have a change of heart?"

Sam glared. "I'm going to kill you!"

Lucifer sighed. "We've already been through this Sam," he said exasperatedly. "Do you want to come inside or not?" he offered.

Sam looked at Dean. Dean looked at Sam. The two Winchesters then looked at Castiel who looked at Lucifer. Sam turned to face Lucifer. "...ok... but if you and your friends try anything... we will kill you." Hesitantly, Sam entered the house followed by Dean and Castiel. He was expecting to see dead bodies and lots of blood but he didn't see anything. Instead, he saw a group of demons and another angel standing around the Nintendo Wii, snacking on food.

"Are you surprised Sam?" Lucifer asked.

Sam was speechless. He didn't know what to say. This wasn't the Devil he knew. Instead of saying yes, he nodded. He did not want to say 'yes' around the Devil.

"Help yourself to the food Sam," said Lucifer, following Sam's gaze.

Sam didn't want to accept Lucifer's offer but he was hungry. Followed closely by Dean and Castiel, he made his way over to the table. He grabbed a hot dog. Dean grabbed a sample of each and Castiel grabbed the box of angel cookies. Castiel took out all the cookies and laid them out on the table, reading the names aloud. "Michael... Anna... Zachariah... Anna again... Michael again... Uriel... where am I?" he asked himself. He searched through all the cookies again looking for himself.

"This is good food!" exclaimed Dean.

"I'm glad you like it Dean," said Alistair. "I baked those cookies myself!"

Dean glanced down at the cookie in his hand and gagged. He didn't know Alistair had baked them. "Oh... gross!"

Alistair frowned, deeply hurt. Why didn't anyone like his cooking?

.

Um... how was it? Would you like to see this turned into a two-shot? Reviews much appreciated!


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**

The rights to Supernatural belong to Eric Kripke.

**Title**

Singing with the Devil

**Summary**

Lucifer celebrates his monthly anniversary with his demon friends. Crack fic.

**Special Thanks**

KitCat 1995, Jedi Arwen Sparrow Winchester, chickenwingdings, TheThursdayAngel, sparrowed, saints and sailors and MariamTiarko for taking the time to review. It's because of you this was turned into a two-shot. Enjoy!

**.**

Dean continued to gag on the cookie he has eaten. Alistair was known for being a horrible cook. It was rumoured he used human body parts and blood in his food. Sometimes he even added plastic just to give his cooking a 'unique' taste. Needless to say eveyone (but Dean) was aware of the horrible food.

"So Lucifer, what's the reasoning behind the big party?" Sam asked, staying as far away as possible from the Devil. He didn't want Lucifer to get any wrong ideas. If he stood close to him, Lucifer might think Sam wanted him and that wasn't something he wanted.

Lucifer smirked. "I've been alive for quite a few months now and I thought it deserved a celebration."

"A celebration every month? Seems a little exhausting and over the top to me," Sam replied.

"Unlike you _Sam, _I'm being hunted," Lucifer said. He wiped his eye. Sam frowned. Was the Devil crying? "You hurt my feelings Sam." Why was Sam so cruel?

Dean glared at Sam. "Way to go Sam."

Sam gaped. Why was it his fault? Lucifer was an evil bastard! All the demons moved away from Sam and stood near Dean. "What did I do wrong?" Sam complained. Since when did demons surround Dean anyway?

Dean wasn't sure whether or not he should enjoy thte attention from the demons. As much as he hated them, it felt nice to be appreciated. "You hurt their master's feelings Sam; they are quite protective of Lucifer." He jerked his head towards Lucifer. Lucifer was still looking at Sam, a hurtful expression on his face.

"Let's play the nintendo wii!"

"I wanna play Call of Duty: Black Ops!"

"MARIO KART!"

All in the room present glanced at Alistair. Some demons glared. Mario Kart was forbidden for it represented heavenly things like joy and pretty colours. The pretty colours made the demons sick in the head. Even naughty angels like Uriel and Lucifer couldn't handle the colours. Sam and Dean on the other hand could tolerate the game. "Aww I like Mario Kart," Sam heard Dean mumble under his breath.

"Alistair, if you keep speaking nonsense I will send you to Hell," Lucifer said, glaring.

Hell was not the place to be. Despite what everyone thought, Hell was not a fiery inferno. It was a place far worse than that. In Hell, nasty things like Teletubbies roamed the vacant plains. It was rumoured even showerheads were in Hell, levitating above ground sprinkling water on sinners. And it wasn't clean pure water; the water came from the sewage system. Alistair hung his head low deeply ashamed of himself. "I'm sorry Father, please forgive me."

Lucifer snapped his fingers and Alistair was thrown against the wall. He landed on the ground with a loud thud. "Forgiving is a heavenly thing Alistair!" Lucifer roared, eyes glinting maliciously. "Do you want to find redemption?"

Alistair shook his head. Heaven wouldn't be so bad, apparently everyone loved everything. Perhaps they would like his cooking? But of course he would keep such thoughts to himself. "No Father."

Dean and Sam exchanged worried glances. Had they just stumbled into a warzone? "At least we're not getting attacked..." Sam muttered. It was a nice change.

Dean nodded in agreement. "Let's just enjoy the party while we can and then we shall sneak out."

Meanwhile, Castiel was still looking for a cookie of himself. Unfortunately there were no cookies of himself. He frowned, deeply saddened. "Why am I not here?" Was he not an angel? Had God kicked him out? It wasn't as if he had done anything wrong. So why the lack of Castiel cookies?

Dean noticed his friend's depression and sat down beside him. He picked up a Michael cookie and examined it carefully. "Well... if you look at it carefully it kinda looks like you," he said, turning the cookie.

Castiel nodded. "I guess..."

Dean placed a hand on his shoulder. "Cheer up, I'm sure there are more Castiel cookies. Perhaps there just weren't any in this set?" While Dean tried to cheer Castiel up, Sam was being interrogated by the demons.

"Sam, what do you prefer? Being torn apart by hell hounds or being possessed?" Meg asked.

Sam frowned. "I haven't been torn apart by hell hounds though..."

"It's not pleasant," Dean shouted. Those damn things hurt!

"Sam, who do you prefer to play as? Mario or Luigi?" Alistair asked. Everyone groaned.

"Shut up about Mario stuff," Uriel snapped.

Lucifer was quickly losing his patience. "ALL OF YOU! SHUT UP!" All breathing things stopped talking and looked at Lucifer awkwardly. He sighed. "This is meant to be a party, not a session for debate. Alistair, I've already warned you once do not make me warn you again."

Alistair decided it would be best if he remained in the far back corner curled up in a ball. He pulled out his knitting materials and pretended to knit a scarf. He was soon ignored as everyone went back to discussing things to do. "Let's have an arm wrestling competition!" Meg annouced.

Dean shook his head. "That's not fair though. Sam and I have no chance of competing with you demons and angels." He looked at Sam for support. Sam nodded in agreement.

"You can judge then," Ruby said.

"No no no this just won't do. None of us can beat Lucifer, he's an arch-angel," said Azazel, his yellow eyes flashing.

"Lucifer will just have to sit out then," Uriel said. "Angels versus demons."

As the demons bickered amongst themselves, Sam and Dean played a game of uno. Lucifer watched them in amazement, never taking his eyes off the game. He grabbed a hotdog off the table and watched Sam intently. "Come on Sam, you can beat him!"

"Thanks Lucifer," Sam muttered. Had he just thanked Lucifer? What on earth? This was no time to be friendly towards power-hungry angels!

"Uno!" Dean shouted. He had won the game.

Sam couldn't believe it. He lost a card game to Dean? "Awww."

Lucifer was sad. How could his chosen vessel have lost so easily? Perhaps he ought to consider choosing a new vessel... "Gosh Sam how could you lose?" Lucifer shook his head sadly.

Sam rolled his eyes. "I think it's time for us to go now Dean." This party was beginning to dampen his spirits and self-esteem.

Dean sighed. It had been fun while it lasted. "Thanks for the party Lucifer!" He glanced at Castiel. "Time to go Cas, we need to go trenchcoat shopping."

And just like that, the party had come to an end.

.

I realize this chapter is not as entertaining as the first, but I figured I should wrap things up. Hopefully it had its moments of entertainment. As always, reviews much appreciated!


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